I'M ENGAGED TO MARRY A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS. WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS?
Thank you for emailing us and sharing about your situation with your fiancé who is Jehovah’s Witness. Our hearts go out to you in dealing with this very difficult question. We can imagine the concerns you have about marrying someone who is involved with the Jehovah’s Witness religion and they are certainly valid.
We have worked with several couples in which one is a Jehovah’s Witness and another is not and we have found that it has been VERY difficult for them to be able to work through the differences between Christian beliefs and Watchtower teachings. Even in cases where the other spouse is not a Christian and has not particular religion beliefs, it is still difficult because of the mental control that the Watchtower exerts on its members. Should you choose to marry this Jehovah's Witness lady, some of the issues you can expect to face in your marriage are as follows:
Although your prospective wife is not practicing the religion very strongly right now, this is no guarantee that she will remain on the sidelines of the Watchtower religion. Our experience has shown that when a difficulty in the marriage or family issue arises, unless the Jehovah’s Witness is willing to undergo deprogramming or Christian counseling to break completely free from the mind-controlling elements of Watchtower thinking, the first place the spouse will go is to immediately revert back to the Jehovah’s Witness religion for advice and security. This is especially true if the Jehovah’s Witness mate has family members involved. Don't underestimate the extent of the pressure Jehovah’s Witness relatives may exert to get the inactive mate back into the organization. If the mate returns to the Watchtower, as has occurred in several cases we have worked with, we have seen that less than 50% of the marriages survive.
We have found that even in cases where a spouse agreed not to bring the Jehovah’s Witness religion into the marriage, even this does not prove effective when the children come along and there is a fight over which religion the children will be raised in. Furthermore, whether your Jehovah’s Witness fiancé realizes it or not, her thinking in nearly all areas of life is affected by the Jehovah’s Witness beliefs she has been raised with. Even though she may not attempt to consciously bring the religion into the relationship, her thought-processes and responses to issues as they arise in your marriage will ultimately be affected by what she has been taught. So, the religion will become a strong factor in your marriage, unless it is properly dealt with.
Thus, we would strongly encourage you to either prolong your engagement to address the problems of the Watchtower with your fiancé or reconsider your decision to marry if the issue of "religion" cannot be resolved.
We would also encourage you to read the following articles linked on our website to fully understand what you're dealing with if your prospective spouse chooses to get more involved in the Watchtower organization:
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